February 27, 2014

Chat- "What Being A Fat Woman Is Really Like"

Today while I was browsing through my bloglovin blogs that I am following, I stumbled upon The Left of Perfect's post about a bit Cosmo had recently published about "What Being A Fat Woman Is Really Like". I was very intrigued by these questions, that I decided to follow along and answer them in a blog post as well. 

How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?

It annoys me like no other. Most of the time it is women who are toothpicks seeking attention and affirmation that they are gorgeous, beautiful, thin, etc. You will most likely NEVER seen a fat girl complaining in public about being fat. Maybe at home or such, but not out for all to see and hear.

How has your body image changed since high school? College?

Yes, especially since turning 25. When I was younger, I felt like I was the only big girl in the world. And I would care what people thought of me, and my looks. The older I get, the more I realize that it just doesn't matter. People are going to love you or hate you for whatever reason. Why waste my time worrying about others, and instead take that energy and focus it on myself and those who really matter. I have also come to learn that everyone has something about them they wish they could change. So in reality, we all are on the same playing field. 

Have you tried dieting? What happened?

Oh gosh, who hasn't? I have tried dieting, but I have yet to find a way that truly works for me. I'd be unhappy and I'd fall off the wagon. I don't believe in those fad diets where you only eat cabbage for 12 days. I just need to start working on smaller portions, and exercising more. 

Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?

I do in a way. My father is a bigger man, and my moms weight has always fluctuated. I don't think genetics is the sole reason, but I believe it might have been a factor. 

Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?

I am healthy in the sense that I have no medical conditions or problems. But I am far FARRRR from being physically fit. And no, never had that issue arise. 

Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you're at? Have they always been?

I honestly don't talk to my family about my weight. I know they both would love to see me at a better lower weight for long term health issues. 

How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?

Do you seriously have to ask that? Plus size clothing is in a MAJOR need of improvement. The stores that offer plus size clothing, sell things that no plus size woman can either afford, or would want to wear. For example, a store might carry a beautiful shirt, but it will be $50. Or you can find a $15 shirt that is either super low cut, sheer fabric, ugly material, or totally un-flattering to a full figured body. See the problem?

Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How? 

Oh gosh yes. Women will overlook a man and his flaws for the most part. But men ridicule women like it's going out of style. They seem to be so obsessed with the looks, they forget all about the things that ultimately matter in a person.

Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?

Yes, of course there is. I simply say you can't make mass judgement about people. Everyone is different. Sure some fat people are lazy, but so are some skinny people. Sure some fat people are unhealthy, but again so are some skinny people. So on and so forth. 

Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight? 

Yes, but don't be too pushy. Most overweight people already know they are fat, and want to lose weight. But many times it's more than just eating less and working out more. 

What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?

Probably when I was a kid, of course I would be teased for being big. But as a adult, no one has ever really said anything to my face. I'm sure I get it behind my back, but psssh who cares?

What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?

I would love to have someone tell me that I am beautiful, I never hear it.

Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size? 

I have lost touch with most of my friends. They all are married and have kids now, so it's just not the same. But in general, I had friends of all sizes.

How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?

No it hasn't.

When you've been single, has your weight affected your dating life?

Yeah, I lack the confidence I should have. Plus the area that I live in is very non accepting of those who are not a size 4 and below.

Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women

Nope, not at all.

Do you feel weird if he's only dated slimmer women before you? 

Maybe at first, but in general, no.

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